When we're with others

Recognizing suffering and being moved to help. A daily practice, not a trait.

Often confused with: Empathy, Pity, Sympathy

Feeling sorry for someone from a distance, often with a tinge of superiority. Connection-blocker.

Often confused with: Compassion, Sympathy

Feeling with someone — taking their perspective without judgment, recognizing their emotion, communicating it.

Often confused with: Sympathy, Compassion

Feeling for someone from outside their experience. Kind, but it doesn't connect the way empathy does.

Often confused with: Empathy, Pity

What's okay and what's not. The thing that makes sustained compassion possible.

Ranking pain — yours or others' — to decide whose feelings count. Empathy isn't finite.